Netflix's 'YOU' Reminds Us That Toxic Friendships Have To Go.

by - 11:14 AM



(image via Lifetime)

The new year is a great time to reflect on your life and the company you keep. After binge-watching Netflix's YOU, which initially aired on Lifetime based on the novel written by Caroline Kepnes, I was reminded of how much harm you can cause yourself and your mental health specifically by having a toxic best friend or friends in general. 2019 needs to be about loving ourselves, and that has a lot to do with the company we keep.

YOU is about a girl named Beck, her new boyfriend, and the group of girlfriends she keeps around, particularly her best friend Peach Salinger (played by Shay Mitchell in the TV show). Peach had me feeling like every time she popped up on my screen; I saw a consistent wave of red flags everywhere. I was literally yelling at the screen "No, Beck! She's selfish as F#@&*!" Women have it hard enough as it is in our society without having someone that we love and trust secretly trying to knock down our enthusiasm and drive. Peach was a very toxic best friend, and we'll get around to why in a bit. 

Sometimes it's hard to determine if you have a toxic best friend because you don't want to believe it. Why would you want to consider that someone you care for and who you'd love to watch succeed wouldn't share those mutual feelings? It sounds wild, but it happens all the time. We have to be supportive of each other more than ever. The girl on girl hating has to stop. Having to walk around eggshells with your close group of friends shouldn't cut it for anyone during 2019. Self-love is essential, and you have to respect yourself by keeping the right company. It could be physically and emotionally draining to have the wrong person in your corner. You don't need reasons to be second-guessing yourself all the time.


Here are 5 ways to determine you're in a toxic relationship with your best friend. 


1) Their Needs Take Priority Over Yours.
Friendships should be 50/50, a give and take situation. Both in actions and conversation. If your friend doesn't care about what you're doing, or offers to help you out, or asks about your day, that's not a good sign. They may believe everything they have going on is more important than what you have going on. NOT COOL. 

Ex: On the show, Peach knows how important writing is to Beck and that she just entered a new relationship. Does she care? Nope! Whenever Peach needs Beck she is willing to go as far as faking a sickness just to manipulate her and take advantage of her. Savage.






2) They're Not Happy For You. 
Whenever my friend has the smallest accomplishment, I am jumping for joy and over the moon for her. I will send her text saying things like "Get it girl." or "Yay! So freakin' proud of you" If your friend is not happy for you when amazing things are happening in your life that's a BIG red flag. 

Ex: Peach wasn't happy when she learned Beck had a promising writing opportunity and tried to sabotage her.  




3) They Don't Like Seeing You In The Spotlight
Toxic friends often don't like when a conversation revolves around you or when you receive compliments. Do you ever have friends that never like your photos, compliment your drop dead gorgeous dress, or change the subject whenever you're the topic? Shady business. 

Ex: On YOU, Beck's friends are always talking about her relationship and show interest in her new lover boy. Peach always downplays Beck's Boyfriend, Joe, for his career and a variety of other reasons. She is secretly jealous. 



4) They Get Jealous When You Hang Out With Other People. 
Girls should have a solid support group around them. If your friend acts like you love her less because you have other friends you give attention to, that's selfish. You're allowed to get to know people. 

Ex: Peach is constantly trying to get Beck away from other people and have her all to herself even if it's based on lies. She is very dependant on Beck and wants 100% of her attention all the time. 


5) They Violate Your Boundaries.
Friendship is about love and respect. You should never make someone you love feel uncomfortable or put them in tough situations consecutively.

Ex: Peach would take compromising photos of Beck she was unaware of and save them on her computer. She would also put her in uncomfortable situations throughout the show and place the blame on her.




Remember earlier when I mentioned empathy? Before you go and permanently kick a person you care about out of your life, try talking to them first. This behavior might be a cry for help on your friend's behalf. Perhaps you could work on it and repair it together. However, if your friend wants to act like her behavior is completely normal and justified... GIRL BYE! 




Goodluck. 

P.S. Netflix's YOU is a pretty great & twisted show. 

You May Also Like

0 comments